If Not Now, When?

During this “covid-era,” a little voice in my head vacillates between, “I’m lonely, I’m sad, I’m scared, fix this, I don’t like these feelings, get busy, do more, I don’t like this” to a different voice saying, “this isn’t so bad, I love all the space on the calendar, the unhurried pace of life, the quiet, the feeling that I don’t have to “do anything” especially on the weekends, the air is fresh, the birds are singing, I have all the time I need.” I get stuck in the thought that I’ll be happy when “this” happens, or when I “get” that thing…. someday, someday I will be happy.

It keeps coming down to this: There is no tomorrow, no “someday” …only a string of “TODAYS”.

I ask myself, If not now, when? I’m learning to hope and dream NOW, to Live my life NOW, to be with the one I’m with NOW. If you, like me, get caught saying, “yes, but when” to yourself, try the simple but often hard practice of living NOW. Every time I step on my mat, focus on my breath and quiet the voices in my head, I come a little closer to NOW, I hope you'll join me.....not when but NOW.


© 2020 by Deanna Nihill, Tigard, OR
Site design by Tristan Katz Creative