Taking one step....toward the good stuff

The world feels so different than last Monday when I was writing and planning to still offer yoga classes at Calvin. The last week has been a roller coaster ride of emotions. The adrenalin rush as the car heads up the tracks, not knowing what to expect in our new reality. I started the week with energy and motivation to stick with my healthy routines while also having time to garden, read, take afternoon walks in the sunshine…. all the good stuff! At the high point of this ride, feeling confident that I can totally do this…. totally do this. I am a person who LOVES her routines! My “habits and routines” are what keep me positive, healthy, hopeful…. all the good stuff. I typically get’er done from 5:00-8:00 am, and I’m not bragging here just being honest, with meditation, gratitude, reading, journal, spirit cards, walk/run or swim, drink water, vitamins, shower….and I’m off to work pumped for the day!

What a difference a week makes. It would be an understatement to say I’m off my game, my calendar is empty and my routines can’t be the same because my world is not the same. I woke up yesterday morning without motivation to do any of “the good stuff”. Instead, I felt dull, sad, uncertain and so heavy, heavy physically and heavy emotionally. And here comes the yoga…. the theme of my very first week of public yoga classes was,

“Start close in, don’t take the second step or the third step…. start with the first thing close in."

I was able to make one choice which led to another choice and maybe a third choice….so I made three good choices for myself yesterday. Today, I woke up and was able to make some more good choices for myself…the choices may be different for each of us or some of them the same, but they represent “the good stuff”. They are the choices that bring us home to ourselves, they comfort us, they calm us, they help us be our best selves and live our best lives.

I hope our yoga classes are part of your good choices and if so, I have a plan. Last week, during a motivated high point, I was videotaped teaching a class; which then took me many hours and the better part of last week, to “compress” it and download it to my website with sound (it was a steep learning curve for me). I haven’t shared it with you because, frankly I didn’t like the quality of the video after being “compressed” and, full disclosure, I didn’t like seeing my body in the video. I know that’s not very, “Come as You Are: Yoga for Self-love”, but I’m being honest here. My “good choices” have helped me process that shame storm and I can say with an open-heart and total honesty, that I so hope you watch the video and do some yoga with me. If this would be supportive to you, I will upload a video, with a poem, once a week but I want to hear from you if you would use it, before I go to that effort. I am still trying to figure out the best way to get the video to you in its original, high quality form, if you have any suggestions please share. In the meantime, grab a couple of blocks (or books), your mat (or a towel), your strap (or a bathrobe belt) and a couple of blankets and join me on the mat as we “take the first step” together. The video is here on my website under the Yoga tab, at the bottom of that page.

With gratitude and health for all,


Deanna



Start Close In

Start close in,

don’t take

the second step

or the third,

start with the first

thing

close in,

the step

you don’t

want to take.

Start with

the ground

you know,

the pale ground

beneath your feet,

your own

way to begin

the conversation.

Start with your own

question,

give up on other

people’s questions,

don’t let them

smother something

simple.


To hear

another’s voice,

follow

your own voice,

wait until

that voice

becomes an

intimate

private ear

that can

really listen

to another.

Start right now

take a small step

you can call your own

don’t follow

someone else’s

heroics,

be humble

and focused,

start close in,

don’t mistake

that other

for your own.

Start close in,

don’t take

the second step

or the third,

start with the first

thing

close in,

the step

you don’t

want to take.

~David Whyte, River Flow: New and Selected Poems


© 2020 by Deanna Nihill, Tigard, OR
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